I wrote a couple of days ago that I didn’t think I would have any rest until my colonoscopy in September.  I don’t think I feel the same anymore.  I think I’m willing to surrender to the “unknowing.”

I read the other day that “an unanswered question is a fine traveling companion.  It sharpens your eye for the road.”

I like that.  It means that life is about more than answers.  The answers are a side benefit, but not the destination.  

I’ve avoided using the imagery of a journey up until now – I’ve thought it cliched and obvious – but I have to bow to the inevitable.  Life IS like a journey.  And I’ve always been more a destination kind of person than a joy in the journey kind.  Whenever Bryan and I have taken a road trip, I’ve always gone into it, thinking that I would be flexible, and let the road take us where it would.  But the reality has never fulfilled that intention.  The first day or two might be relaxed and spontaneous, but by the third day, the destination is burning in my consciousness, and I want to reach it in as short a time as possible.  I become blind to the road itself and only have eyes for the end of the road.

But I suppose if I don’t KNOW the end of the road, I might be able to look at the scenery along the way.  I might even spot the bags of gold that God drops in my path – now I might recognize them for what they are.  Before this year, I might have seen them as dusty rocks that might trip me.  I would have kicked them impatiently out of my way, or stepped over them with a grimace of distaste.  I never would have stopped, never would have picked them up to look inside.  Never would have found the blessing.

Maybe my eyes HAVE been sharpened.